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lonely being told you will be all right might sound great comeing from some one u love , maybe even a close friend. but in life thats not always the case and then later, you might learn that was for the best, or was it? this movie, in good company
now i look at that and just feel like the last 6 months have been like for me and wounder how was he happy at the end of all that? only thing that makes sence is that he had the money to just do nothing, to just sit back and re figure out his life with out trying to worry about what was happying ne where else.
i cant do that, ive tryed and its not going to last for ever, i can stay so sick, so deep in love that it hurts me every day, not with out money.
money doesnt by u happyness is only said by those who never have it or never know how to use it.
i dream almost every nite what it would be like to have money, and i see no bad things comeing from it.
no it wont change my love, no it woudlnt change the feelings about ne thing, but what it would do would be to help me get more healty, to get out of my debt that will haunt me for years and it would help my mom and for me to semi let go of sum stuff, stuff, things, ideas i have in my head and in my heart.
all those times i heard jokes or things on tv about the man pictureing some other girl wile he was with a nether finaly makes sence, ive never did it befor, but now, even tho i havent done ne thing, i find my self doing it. even when i got drunk, normaly im a fucking happy n fun drunk but last time, i was so sad n then i was on some ones lap, and closed my eyes and for a moment it was ok, it was as close to it as ive been in months and then it was over, i relize how fast i move and how i just want to be attached to someone, some thing i need that in my life.
i have so much in side me to give, so much care n trust n love, but no one to give it to.
if only i had the money to have that not be a problem, im honestly happy just doing what i do best, if i cant be in love, i just be , well , i dont even know what to call it ne more, but if the end ever comes and things never get better then they are now, ill atleast know for my self that my love is that deep,
that even money n time wouldnt change how i felt.
maybe a job thing on money, posibly a start to better things, all ive goten is no call backs n empty words so far, when will my luck change?
people relie on god to help then in there time of need, but if all people on this world have free will, what can he do for you?
if there is, i would never sell my soul for any thing, i give it freely to her, now and forever
but id do almost any thing else to change how things are now, not just with my life, but for every one who knows me.
on a seprate note, girl moved in next door, shes younger then me lol
shes cool n all n seems to think im kinda cool
but we have so little in commen other then we are both out of relation ships kinda thing n broke.
makes me wounder why a good thing has to turn in to something so weird for me,
she dont do nething i like, and im not really into her stuff
not even like its a girl i wanna date but cant or like it matters or that i want that,
i just always thought a girl moveing cross the hall would be kinda fun, and so far
its just, well, odd to me. all my friends have a reason, a purpuse for being in or around my life
even tho ones who arnt mine, where some how still conected to me. but this, this is just a "nay-bore"
maybe just cuase its new thats what i find so werid about it, or maybe cuase like we chilled but seem like so far a part, like we havent even touched each other axadentaly or ne thing, not like i wannt booty call close by, its just im a touchy guy n hugs are just friendly right? ah well next time i see her im just going to ask whats up cuase its not like im rejected if she says any thing, cuase its not like we have ne thing, ah well.
had my hair cut today finaly, it kinda helps my situation a bit my mom is great and hope one day i can put her in a good old folks home, not one of those bad ones :]
still no blanket, b.. cmon if u learned any thing from your mariage, learn that u need friends to listen
and sum times thats all they have to do, u told me part of why u dont wanna see me, but u know the past and how it was, u can see it every nite, your holding on to it, on to me maybe? ither let go or face it, avoiding it only leads to regreat!
ne ways
fuck u, fuck u, fuck u, your cool, n fuck u im out!
lol i love movies
